


and then there was one

by maydreamer



Category: Gintama
Genre: Gen, M/M, joui4 era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-18
Updated: 2013-11-18
Packaged: 2018-01-01 22:56:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1049554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maydreamer/pseuds/maydreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There used to be three. A haphazard trio, held together by the impossible dreams of a dying nation and the regrets of a half-buried mentor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and then there was one

There used to be three. A haphazard trio, held together by the impossible dreams of a dying nation and the regrets of a half-buried mentor. There was hardly any time to breathe amidst bloodbath after bloodbath, but in whatever little reprieves there were Katsura had dared to hope. It was almost natural now, waking up in the middle of the night to change lookout shifts and passing by (and dragging away) a half-lidded Gintoki raiding the foods tent for sweets and bickering with Shinsuke who’d gone there for yakult. 

It was almost endearing to see Gintoki and Shinsuke’s relationship from the side. Their petty children’s rivalry stemming from the days under Shoyou-sensei had never really subsided, and it was refreshing to see that some things at least had remained unchanged. It would be more amusing if Katsura didn’t need to monitor both of them all the time and hand out more time-outs than there were hours in a day, but Katsura secretly wished that they would never stop. Shoyou-sensei was gone, but they still had each other and the rest of their fellow classmates who’d decided to join the joui movement. There was loss, but perhaps they could learn to cope with it when the amanto were banished and they could settle down again in their small village.

Then there was Tatsuma, who’d somehow wormed his way into the ‘group’ if you could call it one. Between his “Kintoki~”, _AHAHAHAHA_ ’s, and his taking to calling him “Zura” too (“Zura janai, Katsura da!”), Katsura found himself with laden with bonds that he could call precious. 

And he knew that the other three reciprocated it. Some things did not need to be expressed in words. He saw it in Gintoki’s relaxed form and Shinsuke’s lazy smirk and Tatsuma’s overly-boisterous laughter and didn’t miss the hint of affection they threw around with his otherwise annoying nickname. That was why his retorts were half-hearted, too; that, and the fact that he knew it was pretty much useless at this point and they’d be calling him “Zura” until his hair thinned and he actually needed a wig. Somehow, he didn’t mind that thought all too much.

If this mismatched quartet could stay together through war and peace, Katsura would easily sacrifice more than just his name.

///

It was Tatsuma who left first. By then, the bond was already dying; yet another thing the amanto—the _world_ —had sapped away. Gintoki and Shinsuke’s fights often turned violent, and the latter had been livid at Tatsuma’s desertion. To be honest, Katsura had been disappointed, too. In Tatsuma, in the waning joui movement, but most of all in himself.

He couldn’t even keep his friends together.

Katsura, contrary to popular opinion, was not blind to reality. They would lose the war. He’d seen Gintoki and Tatsuma on the rooftops watching the glimmer of stars light years away; he knew he’d lose his friends, too.

He didn’t expect the inevitable to hurt this much.

//

Gintoki left in the night. Takasugi—they were on last name basis now, after a rather nasty disagreement on the punishment of further deserters left Katsura’s insides feeling hollow—had stormed off with his battalion to ambush an amanto camp immediately after hearing the news, and Katsura had let him even though it was an irrational move. Takasugi had finally developed a method of coping: to destroy (so that it could not destroy _him_ ). The second part remained unsaid, unleashing a beast without bounds, but at this point Katsura could hear it in all its entirety.

Years ago, perhaps Katsura could have stopped him. Years ago, there was a haphazard trio held together by the impossible dreams of a dying nation and the regrets of a half-buried mentor. Years ago, a bond beautiful in its fragility had somehow blossomed among all three grieving children plus a laughing idiot.

But the bond was broken now, and Katsura was powerless to stop him, just as he had been powerless to stop Tatsuma and Gintoki from leaving.

The final time they would have each other’s backs would be when they walked away in irreconcilable directions.

/

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> ... my take on some joui angst. because joui angst is the best angst and zura is lonely );  
>  ( IT'S OKAY, YOU STILL HAVE ME, ZURA~~ )


End file.
